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The Bhaji Book is my latest book project. It is so new that it doesn’t have a proper name yet. But we do know it will have the word Bhaji in it. If you don’t know Onion Bhajis are a favourite in my family and that seemed an appropriate place holder for the book title.

A few years ago my life was turned upside down and I went through some serious upheavals. As happens I ended up posting about some of this on social media. Some people found it sad, heartwarming, inciteful and mainly due to the unique comedy timing of my father, often very funny.

Due to the insistence of these people, I am writing the book of my experiences. And in my usual way of overcomplicating a simple idea, I have decided to serialise the book as a set of blog posts.

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Dad versus the Funeral

I decided I would write something about my father on the first anniversary of his funeral. Just a little something to mark the event. It is my way of spending some time in remembrance.

Then I realised that I have not properly written the events leading up to his death and his funeral. They are quite an adventure as it is. I know some people know some of this and all this will eventually be in the #BhajiBook, just not quite in this format.

Anyway, here is the complete tale. It is a long one. It contains a car crash, explosions and gin and tonic all surrounding my father’s funeral.

You can read it on screen, download it as a pdf to read it on your eReader or even print it our. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

The #BhajiBook will be back in a few weeks. I am just sorting out the next few chapters, so keep coming back and checking for the next installment.

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Chapter 06

Where is your mother and other games

In this chapter we discover several bonding games that transcend cultural and generational gaps, find out why after-dinner speaking is not part of the Bengali psyche but I also find an existential personal development philosopher-poet driver. And my father needs a shower after being touched by the hand of God.

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Chapter 05

City of Joy, Copy of Errors

In this chapter, we find that cultural differences make coffee impossible, accidentally form a menage a trois with old and new maids and their mother and drink tea with my father.

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Chapter 04

To Tebay and Beyond

In this chapter, we peek inside the fridge again, my mother aggressively watches Coronation Street and my father ruminates on the size of quail eggs.

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Chapter 03

Who Is That?

In this chapter, we discover the proper way to get thrown out of a restaurant, how Skynet will take over the world one toothbrush at a time and discuss Romeo being tried in an adult court.

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Chapter 02

Inside the Fridge

In this chapter, we discover the worst family in the universe, the dangers of tilting trains, a criminal gang of ballet dancing dwarves and find out if Santa Clause finally gives in and presents me with a long wished for Christmas gift.

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Chapter 01

How Do You Know it isn’t Raining?

No swans were punched in this chapter. It didn’t rain in Glasgow. But I did manage to get home with my trousers, successfully deployed the Bengali War Warble while cupping my delicates and didn’t go to India.

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Preamble

This book is based on a series of Facebook posts spanning just over four years. There are a few points that are worth making about them before you plunge into the often slightly bizarre world of my life.

There are two things I have been asked about a lot over the course of this part of my life that is in the mind of many readers.

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Acknowledgements

There are a huge number of people that contributed to this project without whom this book would not have seen the light of day.

The obvious are my parents. My mother’s unwavering love and belief in me however much I screwed up. My father’s comedy is at the forefront of much of the content of the book but he contributed far more behind the scenes and earlier in my life that is worth mentioning.

My mother was the flighty, creative force of nature that loved life and that I related to. And in many ways tried to emulate. But my father was the foundation that allowed me to be as haphazard and flighty in the way that I am. Without him working tirelessly in the background, quietly supporting, even when he didn’t understand or agree (pretty much all the time) with what I was doing I would not have achieved any of the things that I have. Including this book.

Mum, Dad, thank you for the kickstart in life and this book is a good tribute for what you did for me.

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Dedication

Unsurprisingly this is dedicated to my mother and father. They were both hugely influential in my life. They did the best they could for me in ways that I didn’t realise until many years later.

I was hugely blessed with the fortunate circumstance that I could spend a lot of time with them towards the end of their lives. That wasn’t the happiest time of my life. But it was a time I am truly grateful for.

I bonded more with my father in those last few years than at any time I can remember. Without him, the grief of losing my mother (I am such a mummy’s boy) would have been so much harder to bear.

I will miss them both dearly. I think they have set me up for a new stage in life. This book is a last look back at a time when I could give back to my parents a little bit of the love they showed me throughout my life.

See ya Mum, Dad,

No, I’m still going through a phase. I am not going to get a proper job and I still love you loads.

Every Sunday I will miss the pair of you competitive cooking and me having to find a way of complimenting both of you without making it seem as if I was favouring either of you (although Mum was always the better cook by a long margin, sorry Dad, but you really knew that didn’t you).

Love you loads

Miss you loads

Your Number One Son

Rintu

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